April 10, 2024

Ep #13: Home Sweet Home: Creating a Life That You Love and You Cannot Wait To Get Back To

I recently returned from some travels and it got me thinking about my touring days. When you’re on the road, your life is centered around being in a ton of different places, counting on other people, and you’re at the mercy of everything and everyone around you. 

I have one overall objective in my life: to be financially abundant in my selective field of work, without compromising time with my family and quality of life. Most people are fine with taking the status quo, taking what they can get. But when you measure everything against this objective, you can create a life you truly love.

Tune in this week to discover how to create a life that you truly love. I share the difficulties of being on the road, and you’ll learn how advocating for yourself helps you create a life that you truly love and can’t wait to get back to.

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What You will discover:

  • What changes when you stop just accepting the status quo.
  • How to become good at getting what you want for yourself.
  • Why some people have no problem just accepting what they’re given.
  • How to be mindful of where you’re settling for what’s given to you.

Listen to the full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:


Welcome to The Confident Performer, the only podcast that guides ambitious, driven performers and entrepreneurs to show up authentically and confidently both on and off stage. If you are ready to make an impact in your life and community and start living your most amazing, empowered life, you are in the right place. You already have what it takes to make it, you just need to see it. And I’m here to show you how. You ready? Let’s go.

Well, hello my performers, and welcome to episode 13, my lucky number 13, home sweet home, creating a life that you love and you cannot wait to get back to. I was on the road and it actually reminded me of being on the road. And I cannot wait to share just a few tips and insights and bits and things that I just kind of got to think about while I was on my travels. And you guys got to hear episode number 12. I was actually in Grenada and had some challenges, mostly, again, it’s going to be user error.

I always tell my team that if there’s something going on or whatever it’s going to be definitely because I’m maybe not doing it right. But they’re sweet and they’re loving and supportive and I’m very grateful. But now I am back in my home in my sweet little studio office. And I am just so truly grateful to be here and not be on a plane, on a train, on an automobile. That is not a joke. That is not a movie reference. That is a real life legit thing.

Or on a boat, a lot of times on these trips with my man and we go to fun little adventures in the Caribbean and we end up on a lot of boats and a lot of places that are very far out, very worth going to, and once you’re there, it’s very enjoyable, of course and the people are wonderful. But it is something that if you are not acclimated to or if you are not easily adjustable then sometimes those things are not for you. So I’m going to bring up a few different reference points of correlations and connections to being an artist on the road.

And really kind of share some stories because a lot of what these travel bits do for me reminds me of, sometimes people will say, “Why are you not out there on tour or making music and then touring your albums”, or different things like that. And the interesting thing is, I’ve had a beautiful opportunity in my experience to do that a few times in my career. But when you do it, your life really, really is centered around being in a lot of different places and being fine being in a lot of different places and counting on a lot of different people, counting on a lot of different things, working.

And truly the time that I spent doing that was, I had children, my kids toured with me. Different things like that end up kind of adding some stressors and components that are a lot easier to do independently, and where you’re just managing your own emotions and your own mind. But you are still truly at the mercy when you’re traveling and you’re on the road working. You are at the mercy of all the things around you, of all the people that are in charge of you. And all of the things that you have to get very used to, someone is late, another plane is unavailable because you missed it because of another delay.

And all of these just random things that end up happening, putting you behind schedule. And some people do and deal very well with that and some people do not. And so a lot of this information I share today is going to have a lot of these tied connections to things I just experienced that actually made me think about those connective stories to early parts of my career. So I'm going to share some of those tidbits and go from there.

But first and foremost is, I have and live by an overall objective. My overall objective is to be financially abundant in my selected field of work, while not compromising time with my family and quality of life. And sometimes people will say, “How do you make the decisions on how you choose your jobs?” And that is exactly how I do it. So I take that overall objective and I say to myself, “Okay, I’m going to measure every single thing against this overall objective.”

And I spent time and years curating that and even changing and evolving with what I wanted to do with that and how I wanted that to look. Because I realized after I got to know myself very well, I really, really love the things that I love. And I know that sounds like, well, of course, duh, don’t we all? But most people are fine with the status quo. Most people are fine saying, “Oh yeah, sure, that’s no problem”, or, “Oh, absolutely. I don’t really like chicken and that’s all that’s left. That’s fine, I’ll eat it.” And some people are not fine with that, and are not fine with the status quo.

And I remember again, and some of you know from my earlier episodes referencing, early on I was afraid to ask for things. And so as an adult and someone again who’s been in very different circumstances and had a lot of experiences in traveling and being in places where you have to advocate for yourself or you don’t have the thing or get the thing. I’ve become really, really good at getting the things that I want for myself. And I love having the things that I love.

And so upon this trip, now, my man is one of those people who has no problem, yeah, that’s fine. I’ll take it, yeah. You only have these two seats that’s at the back of the plane, blah, blah, blah, yeah, I’ll take it. Yeah, our flight got delayed, which made us miss our next flight. Yes, we said in first class, but you put us to the main cabin because that’s all you have. Yeah, we’ll take it. No. No, we won’t. And I say no, we won’t in the sense of, no, I don’t want to do that because it’s truly all about the journey.

And the journey for me is not rushing to do something that is not done well or not rushing and hurrying to go just because it’s what’s available. And they decided because they’re American Airlines and this is what happens and they have to reschedule 500/600 hundred people because it happened. And these poor, sweet, wonderful people that are being so helpful at the counter, I don’t give them a hard time. I talk to them. I have conversations with them. We just kind of share that time, that moment together, we make jokes. Well, I make jokes.

They have a tendency to laugh, but we just have a really good time in that exchange because I know that’s not what they’re dealing with usually. And you see people, I saw people, we actually had a little experience where we missed a connecting flight that we had. We were coming back from Grenada and man, some people, they got twisted sister, and not in the cool, fun band way but like, what in the actual crap is going on here. And so watching them was a little rough.

Then I think about that experience too, where some people haven’t eaten, if you are traveling and if you didn’t get a certain seat that came with a meal or whatever it is, or you didn’t opt for that, or didn’t pay for that. And so I make it a point to not only think about that, but really kind of acknowledge that just for my own future information. No, if something does happen like this, I have a typical seat that I like to sit on in the plane or even in the first couple of rows.

And there’s always, again, there’s going to be a price with that. That’s something I don’t mind doing because there are those times that it truly does end up really helping. And when you’re sitting on the tarmac for two extra hours and then you’re delayed and all of this unnecessary stuff in your brain could shut it down just because of discomfort and all of that. You’re able to just kind of sit there and just roll with what’s happening because for one, you can’t do anything about it. For two, you’re already on the aircraft.

For three, there’s really, genuinely nothing you can do. So why make your time miserable or your partner’s time or your friend’s or whatever, whoever you’re with? So I really encourage myself to be very mindful in those moments of, did I set myself up to be more comfortable? And if I know I’m very particular, which I am, and it’s not particular in the way of, it does this. I only eat one kind of cheese and I only have one drink of water this way. And I have my soda in the morning because soda in the morning is a very, very cool thing to do. I’m joking. Don’t drink soda in the morning. Don’t drink soda if you can help it.

But there are times, I will be honest with you, that a Coke Classic does come in handy, and I’ll give you more on that later. But I want you to think about the aspect of just being particular and knowing, hey, if that’s you, find ways to accommodate and take care of that for yourself. That’s what I do. I’m super grateful, early on in our relationship, my man was not super fine with that. It was very much, here, take what they give you, type thing.

We were at some meal place or I don’t know, we were at Hometown Buffet and he was like, “You can only get these choices.” So, okay, Ike Turner, I think I am fine now, but I’m just joking. But it did come with a series of adjustments in him getting very used to me being the kind of particular that I am. After I’ve made myself sound like a complete jerk, what I’m going to do is just kind of go on and just explain some of the things that I really want to get to. The overall objective, that’s how I live my life. And I love living in that way.

I also align my choices that allow me again to have that happy edge and kind of leg up and I don’t just accept the status quo. When I go and I do anything and I book anything or plan for anything, I shoot for the stars. So when I think about that again, I sat and talked with the beautiful American Airlines lady and she was supposed to get off at four and it’s 1:00am in the morning. And so we’re just chatting it up and I said, “Hey, can I get my same seats on another flight?” “No, we don’t have those available.” “No, no problem, just what about tomorrow?” And ends up finding it, goes away from it, it ends up working out.

But what happens is, that advocating for myself, I knew that, hey, I have a leg up on being happy because I know I’m going to be comfortable. Now, when I say I don’t settle for what’s given, there’s times when we travel and I think there were 18 people in this group. And typically they choose everything at the beginning of the year. They plan for this trip for about a year. They have certain rooms.

And I am so fine when I go to the place and I look at the resort and it’s great, this is cute. But I have no problem going and talking to them at the front about their available options, “Hey, do you have an option for an upgrade? If so, what does it look like? Hey, can you tell me about the best room on the property? Can you tell me about all these different options?” And not because I don’t want to have what everybody else has. But I genuinely think if I’m there and that’s my planned time in Grenada, why not? Why not do that? Why not do that when I’m in Fiji?

Why not do that when, we’re doing Honduras next, actually, I think we’re doing Ireland next. But then kind of going and doing those adventures. It’s one of those things, why not ask for that? Why not ask the locals, “Hey, what is your favorite dish? Hey, do you actually even have that? I know that you don’t have it on the menu and that was my favorite thing.” They have this thing, a dish of the island called oil down in Grenada. And they say it’s particular to each house and each place that you’re at. And so I read about it and asked a few things and then they had it there.

And one of the ladies that I ended up getting close with, when I typically say getting close with, I actually get close with a lot of the people that end up serving us at the resorts and kind of being in the breakfast area every day and I talk with them. I joke with them. I laugh with them. I learn them. I learn what they like. I learn about their families. I learn how they get to work. I love to just hear their stories and different things like that.

So this woman’s name was Lynn Donna and I made the joke that it’s two names mixed together. And she takes the bus to work. And she’s going to get a driver’s license soon. The driving is very adventurous in Grenada. So we did talk a little bit about that. But then she said, “Hey, I think the kitchen actually did make some oil down today, if you want to have some. I’ll bring you out some. You guys can share.” I said, “Sure.” So those kinds of things are really fun. They make the journey, the adventure all the more enjoyable.

And I want to say these are the things that end up making life enjoyable. That’s what it’s about. We were with a group, a crew, some of them weren’t paying attention. They were vegetarians. They didn’t realize they were eating somebody’s beef burger because they just weren’t paying attention to what's going on and stuff. Man, that gives me a chuckle and it gives me a chuckle in so many ways.

For me, for example, if I’m going to be super particular, I’d better be paying attention. I’d better be having my own back. And if I’m not, my partner better be right on my edge and being like, “Whoa, dang, you’re going to eat that beef burger and you’re a vegetarian.” And have my back on that. But it just does make me think about just the, again, the journey, the adventures. When you are in this kind of exploration phase of life and you’re getting to be out and about and learn different cultures and kind of see what makes you inspired and tick and happy.

I encourage you to not hesitate or be afraid to ask the questions that you want to ask. And we had a driver, his name is Andre and he took us around the island and we did a few different days around the island and it was just very cool. We did a waterfall, the Seven Sisters Waterfalls. One day we did that hike and then we had a guide up there with us doing that. Then the second time we went all around the city and we went to the cocoa factories and the rum distillery and a few of the other waterfalls.

And I love, again, watching the driving. I love watching human interaction. And one of the things that was really kind of a thread throughout that was they often would say, “Do the right thing.” And oh, no, I would help them because you just do the right thing. And we make a point of asking a few questions about how the people on the island interact and is it a working island? Do most people have jobs? What does it look like? Because we want to expand our scope, we want to grow our scope of what life is outside of us.

Now, my beautiful coach, Kym Showers, gave me this reminder when she did her last episode on her podcast, Reinvented After 40, that her beautiful Aunt Bert said to her, and it’s that, “You’re not that big of a deal.” And so while I share this information on being particular and customizing things that work for me, I talk to people. I make friends. I ask kindly. I do all of these things because I genuinely care about the people that are providing the experience and that I get to be and share that in that moment and share that time with.

And I don’t, by any means, ever treat them like, well, I am the guest here and you work here, I don’t. That’s not my style, never has been. And so when I talk with people and become again, close with them on the island. There’s a few different things that they open up about. One of our gals couldn’t go scuba diving because she got sick. And one of the friends on the island said she had God’s protection over her. And I looked at her and I said, “Hey, I like that. I love that angle on that.”

I love to look at that as divine intervention, where the same thing that whatever the universe, God, whatever it is, there is this divine intervention. And I was thinking that I’ve got to tell you a number of times when we did miss a flight, when we did get rerouted, when we did have to rebook, when we then didn’t end up coming back to Bakersfield where we actually live. We ended up in LA, totally fine, not a problem.

We can get a car from LA, last minute, Easter Sunday texted a car service, as somebody at our church and literally a two minute response, responded back, “Sure, Amy, no problem. We’ll take care of you. We’ll be right there.” The chauffeur connection, thank you so much, Mary Pat, it was really, really cool that you made that happen for us and got us safely home on our long, long, long two day trip. But those are those times and those moments that I just feel truly grateful And love to revel in that home sweet home and love to create that life that I love to come back to.

And while I missed my, I told my assistant, I missed my daily routine. I love having my coffee watching Cody Sanchez and getting pumped for the day. I love doing my workout, while at the same time working with my clients. I love being with my daughter who makes me laugh all day, every day, seeing my pups, having jokes and stuff with my son. I love all of those things. And so when I’m not around it, I don’t get that, I don’t have that. I do miss it, but it’s definitely, some people will always say, “I’m not ready to go back.” I’m ready every single time.

Every single time it’s time for me to go back, I am more than ready to get back to my beautiful life that I’ve created, that I love living every single day. So on all of this adventure talk, I want to say first and foremost, thanks to my podcast team for making things happen even though I was a challenge, a struggle on doing the things. Just do the things, Amy Adams, what are you waiting for, Amy Adams? If that is even your real name.

I cannot tell you how many times people will say to me, “Oh my gosh. Did you know that’s a famous person’s name?” I did, I did know that. Every now and again I make the joke that it’s also the name of a murderer. It’s not, but then I make the joke that it could be. And then I make the joke that that’s a joke. But it is one of those things where I know that murder is illegal, so for one there’s that. But for two, I think this is my time to sign off because what in the actual crap am I talking about anymore? This is my lucky episode number 13. Thank you all my friends and be well.

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Thank you for listening to today’s episode of The Confident Performer. If you want to learn more about living your truth and showing up as your most authentic, beautiful self, visit www.amyadamscoaching.com. See you next week!

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